Dead Ends and Burning Bushes
by heythereholly
Summary: Sometimes when you're lost among your own and a common sight to others, it's time to chance the unknown. It may be beneficial. A Slytherin and a Ravenclaw.
1. 0

Dead Ends and Burning Bushes

Hokai, so this is actually a slight re-write. I started this story when I was in high school. A few years later and I feel my writing has vastly improved. I wasn't going to keep this story going, but I got a lot of really positive reviews from you guys, so I decided to revamp this baby.

DISCLAIMER: Title is a reference to Jewel's "Standing Still." I don't own any characters I may or may not mention. Cho's comment about the spring is taken from the manga Fruits Basket, which I also don't own. I'm a closet Theodore Nott/Cho Chang fan. That being said, I also believe that Cho and Cedric are meant for each other, and no, a little thing like him being dead doesn't stop my love. =P (Although that would lead to necrophilia, so I think I'll just have to say no for now.)

--

The winter moonlight filtered in through the window in the hallway leading out of the Great Hall, and outside she could see the snow glistening in the refracted light from the windows. The rest of the girls she had been walking with continued on their way, as if they didn't notice she'd strayed off to the side. Cho smiled softly at their retreating backs and folded her arms across her chest, leaning over the windowsill to peer outside.

"What're you looking at?"

The unfamiliar voice pulled Cho from her thoughts and she blinked at the sallow-looking boy who had seemed to appear out of nowhere at her side. "The snow," she replied.

The boy raised an eyebrow. "It's just snow."

Cho shrugged. "It's pretty."

"I suppose." He mimicked the way she was leaning over the windowsill. "It's too dead. Too cold."

"It doesn't have to be." Cho tilted her head. "When it melts, it means spring's coming."

He laughed quietly, awkwardly, as if the sound was foreign to his lips. "You're strange."

"No, I'm Cho, but I guess strange works too."

The boy looked over at her with mild curiosity. "You're that Ravenclaw girl who was dating Diggory last year."

Cho shut her eyes for a moment. "Yes."

"I'm Theodore." He said, shifting a lazy brown-eyed gaze over to her.

"I don't believe we've met."

"We haven't," Theodore assured her. "People from my house don't normally speak to … well, anyone." He let his arm fall to his side and Cho saw the Slytherin decal on his school robes.

"You aren't like the others." Cho said, her gaze returning to the snow.

Theodore shrugged. "Define 'the others.' Malfoy and his gang of halfwits, or Parkinson and her flock of sheep?"

She cupped her hands on the window, then blew out a puff of air and began to trace a design on the frosted window with her fingertip. "I see."

Theodore raised a skeptical eyebrow at her. "See what? The window's all fogged up."

"I didn't mean I saw with my eyes." She smiled, almost amusedly.

"Then what did you mean?" He watched her finger create more of the design, and through it he was able to see the moon's reflection in the parts of the lake that hadn't frozen over yet.

Cho continued to draw.

Theodore watched her, eyebrows furrowed. "Why haven't you called me a Death Eater in training yet?"

She shrugged. "Haven't given me a reason."

"I thought you'd hate all Slytherins because the Dark Lord was one, and he killed your boyfriend."

"Why are you asking me to hate you?"

Theodore glared briefly, then looked away again. "You're not like the others, either."

"I know."

"The Hat considered putting me in Ravenclaw," Theodore said. "but it put me in Slytherin because I thought it would be easier."

"Easier than what?"

"Dunno."

Cho rocked back and forth on her heels for a couple moments. "Than being a geeky, head-in-the-clouds Ravenclaw, right?"

"I suppose."

"It's nice being in Ravenclaw." Cho said.

Theodore looked at her, as if considering something. "Do you like challenges?"

Cho's eyes locked with his, "What are you asking?"

He turned to face her all the way, and thin strands of dark brown hair hung in front of a pale face. "Talk to me again. Tomorrow. After dinner."

Cho's gaze was curious as she watched him. "All right."

"I should go." Theodore said, as a few more students began trickling into the hallway. There were always a few stragglers after dinner. "Don't stand me up."

"I wasn't planning on it." Cho said, watching as he soon melted away into the stream of students. She turned back to the window and trailed her finger through the angel, then walked away.


	2. 1

Dead Ends and Burning Bushes

DISCLAIMER: See first chapter. There's some Blaise-bashing in this chapter, sorry about that.

Much love to my reviewers!

--

Cho waited until Marietta and the other girls had filed out of the Great Hall and had left the general vicinity before she collected her books and rested the strap of her over-the-shoulder in the crook of her neck. A quick glance at the rest of the Ravenclaw table revealed her peers to be involved in deep conversations, as was usual at the table. She slipped past Roger Davies, who was debating with Terry Boot about the outcome of a goblin rebellion. Finally she made it out of the Great Hall and walked to where she had encountered Theodore Nott the night before, a considerable distance from where the rest of the students were.

She had just set her bag down when a shadow blocked the light coming from one of the torches.

"You showed up." Theodore said, once again leaning over the windowsill.

"I said I would." Cho replied.

Theodore reached up and rubbed a crick in the back of his neck. "Professor Binns' lecture was even more boring than usual today. Fell asleep."

She looked almost amused. "Don't feel bad. I can't stay awake in that class either."

"I don't feel bad." Theodore shrugged, and for a moment the light illuminated the thin outline of his body. "So even a Ravenclaw can't stay awake?" His tone was humorous, or possibly as close to humorous as he felt like being at the moment. "That's news."

"You'd be surprised what Ravenclaws are really like." Cho said, as she hoisted herself up to sit on the windowsill. She drew her knees into her chest and clasped her hands at the ankles. "We're not all books and learning. It's a big part of us, yes… But we're still just people."

"Still just people. That's interesting." He looked over at her. "It's always 'You're a Gryffindor, you're a Hufflepuff, you're a Ravenclaw, you're a Slytherin. You're instantly like this, or like that.'"

Cho offered a small smile. "Someone has to look at it differently, hm?" She looked out at the snow, which had sort of come to remind her of Theodore. "There has to be somebody who thinks differently. Otherwise the world would be entirely monotonous and there would be no room for any kind of change."

"I get it." Theodore said, with that same, awkward little laugh of his. "You're one of those progressive types. Gonna become an Auror?"

"I've thought about it." Cho leaned the side of her head against the window. "What about you?"

There was a long silence following her question, in which Theodore barely managed to repress a shudder as he thought of his dead Death Eater father. "Not what my fool of a father went into."

Cho looked down, catching on. "I see. That's… very admirable of you."

"Admirable." He mumbled in repetition. Then, suddenly, he snapped around and grabbed Cho's wrist; she jumped but didn't scream. He stood still, a fierce look in his eyes although he didn't look at her. "You won't repeat any of this."

She took a moment to try and calm herself down. "I won't. I promise."

He raised his eyes and stared into hers, "Look me in the eye and swear it."

"I swear I won't repeat it."

Another period of quietness settled between them, before Theodore relaxed his grip around her wrist until finally his hand fell back down to his side. "I'm a fool for sharing this with you."

"It's all right to be a fool sometimes." Cho said quietly, averting her gaze.

His eyes settled on her for a few minutes, just watching in silence, before he spoke, staring out the window again. "My father got himself ... imprisoned doing Voldemort's dirty work. My mother… She died when I was younger."

Cho was silent, not knowing quite how to reply to that.

Theodore continued to talk about his presence in Slytherin, or lack thereof really, and Cho noticed that it seemed as if he had wanted to share this information with someone for a long time, but hadn't been able to. He spoke of how he had a crush on a Hufflepuff girl in his third year, but somehow Blaise Zabini had found out and stolen his wand in the middle of the night, hexed the doors closed from the outside, and left him inside for three days. As the night progressed, he continued to tell her of all the things he wondered about, how he sometimes wished he hadn't been placed in Slytherin…

Before either knew what had happened, the clock tower chimed midnight and they both snapped their attention towards the ceiling.

"Shit." They swore in unison. Theodore seemed to realize just how much he had told Cho, this random Ravenclaw sixth-year girl, and he glared out into the snowy night. "Not a word to anyone."

"I already swore I wouldn't." Cho said calmly, as she hopped off the windowsill and began picking up her things. "I'm not going to betray you. You haven't given me a reason."

Theodore gripped the windowsill. "You're not a Hufflepuff."

She smiled. "I don't have to be a Hufflepuff to keep my word."

Theodore looked as if he didn't know what to say for a few moments. "I'll hold you to that."

Cho and Theodore continued to hold their secret meetings after dinner for the next couple of weeks. For the most part, Theodore did most of the talking, and some of the things he talked about made Cho feel uneasy, scared even, but she reminded herself that it was probably better that Theodore got all of his thoughts and feelings off his chest rather than act upon them. A couple of her friends had begun to notice her late returns to the common room, and unfortunately for Cho, there was little she could do to stop the curiosity of her fellow Ravenclaws.

"…seriously, Cho, you don't take that long to finish your meals." Marietta leaned over the table to look Cho in the eye. It was breakfast time in the Great Hall, and they had all finished eating, which of course meant that it was time for gossip. "So what's your story?"

Cho eyed her a moment. "That's private."

"Private?" The red-haired girl giggled and exchanged glances with Lisa Turpin, who grinned knowingly. "We all know what that means."

"I really don't see why my schedule is any of your business." Cho said with a cool shrug.

Marietta pouted. "Aww, c'mon. I'm your best friend! You're supposed to tell me these kinds of things."

Cho very carefully didn't mention to Marietta that she was actually much closer friends with Roger Davies as she replied, "What kind of things? I'm allowed my secrets... as are you."

Theodore looked over at the Ravenclaw table from the side of a Slytherin seventh-year.

"Cho, if you're seeing someone, it's okay to tell us..."

"Of course I'm seeing someone." Cho said. Theodore furrowed his eyebrows; Marietta nearly spat out her dinner. "I'm seeing you right now, aren't I? That's what happens when you look at someone. It means you haven't gone blind yet."

Theodore grinned to himself. Smart little thing she is. Marietta, on the other hand, looked flustered. "Cho! That's not what I meant, and you know it."

She smiled. "Of course I know what you meant. That doesn't mean I'm obligated to tell you." She finished off her orange juice, subtly looking over at the Slytherin table where Theodore was sitting. "I gotta go finish my Charms homework."

Theodore watched her leave the Great Hall, and quickly finished his breakfast. He hung back until a couple other students had filed outside, so as not to gain attention from the ferret or the head sheep, and slipped out.

Cho sighed frustratedly and tossed her bookbag down on to the grass beneath the shade of an old oak tree, then slid down the bark until she was sitting with her knees bent and knocked her head back against the trunk. She sat still with her eyes closed, just breathing.

A thin shadow appeared, and blocked the partial sunlight that had filtered through the leaves. "I heard your friends giving you trouble."

She peeked an eye open and sighed in relief. "Hi, Theodore."

He looked at her with an odd expression. "First time you've said hello."

Cho patted the ground beside her bag. "Don't mind, do you?"

"No." Theodore paused before awkwardly sitting next to her. "I'll leave you alone. It'll keep those girls from bothering you."

"Oh, don't mind them..." Cho said, pulling her hand through her hair. "They're determined to hook me up with a different guy every week."

"Must be annoying."

"It is, really..." Cho laughed lightly. "I mean, they have their hearts in the right places... I guess... I just don't think they understand that I'll find someone when the time is right."

Theodore drew his knees up towards his chest and stared out at the grounds. "That's optimistic."

She looked at him contemplatively. "Theodore..."

"Tell me about yourself." It wasn't a command or a question -- he spoke as if he was stating the color of the sky. "I don't know anything about you."

Cho cast an even gaze on him. She'd come to understand very quickly that Theodore wasn't one who cared very much about the generic information someone could provide. "I don't understand what you're asking."

Theodore leaned back against the tree, much like she had, and stretched out his long legs. "You lost someone you love. But you don't act like a normal person would. I want to know why."

"I don't think Cedric would want me to be miserable forever," she said carefully, slowly.

"Don't you think that's betraying him?" Theodore raised an eyebrow at her.

She looked a bit uneasy about answering that. "Sometimes."

"I ... see."

"But..." she began, smiling relaxedly. "the other times... I just remind myself that I know I'll always love him. And... I know he loves me. Cedric wasn't a selfish person. He always said that..." her voice tightened slightly, and she took a minute to close her eyes and regulate her breathing. "that if anything happened to him during the tournament... he wanted me to move on."

Theodore stared out at the rolling hills, surprising even himself as he listened to her story. "You haven't, though, have you?"

"Depends on what you're asking me. Have I stopped trying to blame myself? Yes. Have I stopped crying? Yes. Have I stopped missing him? No. Have I stopped loving him? Never."

Something akin to a smile spread hesitantly across Theodore's lips. "For a dead guy, I'd say he's lucky."

"...come again?"

"Listen to yourself. It's been almost a year, and you still talk like he's just taking a holiday."

Cho tilted her head. "Don't take this the wrong way, but... Theodore, has anyone ever been in love with you?"

"Excuse me?" He glared over at her, his expression half-contorted with an anger that hinted at something greater.

"I knew you'd take it like this." Cho sighed, returning the glare. "What I meant is... when you ask me about Cedric... you can't see it, but something in your eyes looks ... yearning. It's like you want to find out what love is like without actually experiencing it."

He began to rise. "I'll leave you alone, Cho."

"Stop that," she looked at him sharply. "Theodore, stop it."

"Don't tell me what to do." He brushed off the dirt from the knees of his jeans and began retreating to the castle.

"Damnit, Theodore!" Cho sprung to her feet and grabbed the fabric of Theodore's shirt, gripping it tightly. "Stop. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you."

Theodore stood still, glaring down at the girl holding on to his shirt sleeve, her frustration clearly visible in her eyes, and he was tempted to both sit back down and jerk his arm away.

"I don't want you to leave me alone," Cho muttered quietly, breaking eye-contact.

After a long stretch of silence, Theodore sighed and brushed at Cho's hand. "You can let go. I won't run away." When she relaxed her fingers and he regained control of his arm, he walked back over to where he had been sitting, and leaned sideways against the tree, folding his arms. "Why can't I just walk away from you? What is it about you that—that's keeping me here?"

Cho walked up alongside him, watching.

"You just look so … honest. I've—never seen anything like it. I want to say 'fuck this,' and walk away, but I can't, and I don't know why."

She shifted to stand in front of him. "What do you mean? Theo…"

Theodore looked down at Cho contemplatively. "I'm not sure."

"I'm not either."

He raised his eyes to the sky. "It's late. We'll be seen."

Cho looked over at him. "Are you ashamed to be seen with me?"

"As an outsider, you can't ever fully understand Slytherin politics," Theodore explained. "They're not a part of you."

She watched him, half cautious, half curious.

"It's better for your safety if no one knows that I associate with you. You're a Pureblood, like me, but to my house, you're a filthy, rotten little blood-traitor bitch."

"Am I a filthy, rotten little blood-traitor bitch to you too, then?" Cho asked, her gaze holding steady.

Theodore tapped his fist against the bark, pulling his bangs away from his eyes. "I hate the other Slytherins. Conceited pieces of inbred shit, they are. Just..." he pulled his fist away, then hit it against the bark a couple more times. "trust me on this one."

Cho tilted her head and continued to watch Theodore's fist collide with the tree. He had entrusted her with secrets and thoughts far deeper and dangerous than this; if nothing else than the least she could do was save him some trouble. "All right."

He picked off the piece of bark, played with it for a few minutes, and tossed it to the ground. "Meet me here in two days."

Cho stared down at the roughly designed angel lying in the grass. When she looked up, Theodore was already walking inside the castle.


	3. 2

Whoo! Chapter two! Short chapter, yes, but I'm going away for a little while on vacation, so I didn't really have much time. Also, I ran into a snag with the plot and had to work it out. But don't worry. We're about to hit a whole bunch of fast-paced, intense action. That wasn't supposed to sound so wrong.

Disclaimer: See prologue.

--

When Cho couldn't find Theodore by the tree two days later, it made her feel a little hurt, and a little worried.

When she didn't even see a trace of him for the next few days, it made her feel a little angry, and even more worried.

She couldn't find him at the Slytherin table, nor in any of his usual haunts. She thought about casually asking one of the Slytherin first years if they had seen him, but that would be too suspicious, as the only times she even saw the little brats were during meals - and there was no way she would bring attention to either of them. It just wasn't safe.

And so she perched herself on the stairs that lead up to the dorms in Ravenclaw, resting her chin in the palms of her hands. Her secret meetings with Theodore had given her a lot to think about. Once he told her how his father constantly threatened to remove his name from the family if he didn't take up the "family business"--she hadn't needed to ask what it was--and make the change permanent. Theodore, she learned, really wanted to be an author, and the few samples of his work that he had shown her had been amazing. Just like--

"What're you thinking about?"

Cho looked up at the sound of the voice and shook her head. "Hey, Terry. It's nothing important, really..."

Terry gazed at her, furrowing his eyebrows. "C'mon, Cho. I know you too well for that."

She bit her lip. "I can tell you anything, right?"

"Of course. You know that."

After some hesitation, she said, "I've... made friends with someone recently. Someone from Slytherin. He's kinda... he's one of those people you don't really notice very often. But he's not anything like the other Slytherins. Mostly he just... tells me about all his problems... It's sad, really..."

"...and you...?"

"I'm worried." Cho confessed, played with a couple strands of her hair. "I haven't seen him in a few days."

Terry blinked. "Well... Maybe he just had some things to take care of...?"

Cho furrowed her eyebrows. "Maybe."

It was a week before Cho even heard from Theodore again, in the form of a house-elf popping into the Ravenclaw sixth-year girls' dorms and handing her a note. There had been an emergency with his uncle's family and he had been temporarily pulled out of school. What the emergency was, he hadn't specified, and she had the distinct feeling that it would be wrong of her to ask. Cho glanced at the note again.

_Meet me by the tree_.

She sighed and pocketed the note.

As promised, Theodore was there sitting under the shade of the tree, although despite the somewhat higher-than-normal temperatures for this time of year, he was wearing a thicker, long-sleeved grey shirt. He didn't make any gesture to acknowledge her presence when she sat down beside him and said hello.

"Theodore," Cho frowned. "I said hello."

"I heard you."

"Bad mood?"

"Something like that."

"I see." Cho leaned back against the tree and stared up at the sky. "Anything I can do?"

Theodore finally looked over at her. "No."

"...oh."

"Don't worry about it," he said. "It's a family issue."

That didn't really help. "I see."

"So I heard Ravenclaw won the match against Hufflepuff a couple days ago."

Cho nodded. "Their new Seeker, Scotty... He's a good player, but he's nothing compared to Cedric."

Theodore turned a bit to face her, as he asked, "No one will ever be as good as Cedric, will they?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Theodore smiled in a way that mimicked one of hers, "When you talk about Cedric, you get this look in your eyes. There's a part of you that still doesn't believe he's gone, isn't there?"

Cho looked away. "Perhaps."

"Do you ever plan to do anything about that part?"

"No." She shook her head and returned her gaze to Theodore's, once more looking him in the eye. "I don't. The ones we love don't _really_ leave us... They just... go invisible after a while."

"You're strange."

"No, I'm Cho." She smiled. "We've been over this before."

He chuckled. "I guess we have."

"But the lesson hasn't sunk in yet, has it?"

"No." Theodore said. "But I never said being strange was a bad thing."


	4. 3

Dead Ends and Burning Bushes.

Wow, this took longer than I thought to get out. Actually, I had this all set to go a few days ago, but Wordpad decided it hated me and wanted to protest my very existance and commit suicide on me. Friggin' thing. Then I got sick and died. But I'm alive now. Why must being a high school senior be so taxing so early on in the year?

---

Theodore had often said that he and Cho could never be friends in the public eye. Cho didn't like the Slytherin politics that prevented Theodore from being a normal teenager. But what she found herself feeling very angry about was the fact that Theodore didn't try to fight back against them. In response, he usually told her was simply biding his time until he turned seventeen and he could escape the things that haunted him.

Dinner that evening, on New Year's Eve, was no exception to his words. Theodore passed her inthe halls, but no words were exchanged and no glances were casually tossed at eachother. He stared straight ahead, purposefully ignoring the clearing of Cho's throat in a half-hearted attempt to get his attention.

Cho sat away from her friends, the only sixth-year in with a bunch of fourth-years. Her seat was closer to Theodore's than it had been before, but his back turned to her implied no friendly gestures. A couple times she glanced back and saw naught but a head of wavy, jaw-length black hair. She noticed he spoke to no one, and there was at least a foot of space between him and the next person on either side.

She signed and refocused her attention on Luna's abstract commentary on the more obscure articles in the Daily Prophet.

-

The moonlight fell on the calm surface of the lake and reflected a dull, jaded light into Cho's eyes as she sat on the shoreline. She wanted dearly to understand what was keeping Theodore from truly enjoying himself -- he was a nice person, she'd come to believe, but he just didn't seem to have the motivation to resist the Slytherin idealistics. From what he'd told her, being cut off from his family--or what remained of it--didn't sound so bad. At least it wasn't like he was without resources...

"Hey."

Cho turned around sharply at the sound of the voice. Her eyes wide with surprise, she watched Theodore sit besode her and stare out at the lake. "Hey," she repeated.

"I told you we couldn't be friends in public. Don't look so surprised."

She looked at him distantly. "Why?"

"You know why," Theodore muttered.

"No," Cho shook her head. "Why don't you... fight back? Don't the rewards outweigh the risks?"

He gazed into her eyes for a long time. "No. They don't," he mimicked the shaking of her head, his eyes not leaving hers. "They don't."

She chewed her bottom lip. "What is it you're afraid of? Theo... you could be so much happier..."

"Who said I'm not happy?" he questioned, the familiar defensive tone returning to his voice.

"Don't do that, please." Cho frowned, "You know what I mean. You talk about all that's wrong with your House's way... about how your beliefs don't fit your family's... And yet you, for some reason, still talk to _me_, a crazy blood-traitor Ravenclaw. I saw you eating by yourself at dinner, Theo. Do you honestly believe you're living life to its full capacity?"

"Stop analyzing me, Cho." Theodore narrowed his eyes, "I know that's what you Ravenclaws do; you analyze things and come up with conclusions based on your own evidence. But -- stop it. I'm not some _specimen_ for you to study and test out all your theories on."

Cho glared back, genuinely hurt. "I _never_ thought of you that way, Theodore! Never! Don't you get it? I want to be your friend, I want you to think of me as _your_ friend. Bloody hell, I want you to be able to smile in public! You're _beautiful_ when you smile, Theo, it's not fair that you have to hide who you are just because the rest of your House has Lucius Malfoy's cane shoved up its ass!"

There was a brief moment in which Theodore eyed her, as if caught on something she had said. "That's what you don't understand, what you _can't_ understand, because you're not a Slytherin. _You_ don't have to worry about someone seeing you associate with a blood-traitor. _You_ don't have to put up with the professors talking about how important OWLs and NEWTs are, only to sit back and remind yourself that you'll end up in servitude to a half-human monster hell-bent on killing off anyone you're close to. _You_ don't have to worry about being the one to kill those same people. You have a choice with your life, Cho, I don't. I don't have a choice."

"That's where you're wrong," Cho said quietly. "Theo, you _do_ have a choice. Just hear me out, okay? I... I'll help you-- hide you-- whatever. I don't know why, but you mean something important to me, Theodore Nott, so--so you're not without people who will help you. You're just told you don't have any choice in your life, but... There's a way around everything. We just don't always know what it is."

"You're too optimistic, Cho. You'll get in trouble if you associate with me for too long." Theodore looked away. "I'm surprised nothing's happened yet."

Cho sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "...I'm not afraid to die."

He looked up at her, "That's a bold statement, coming from someone like you."

She raised her eyebrow. "What do you mean, someone like me?"

"Someone who lost a loved one. You'd think that would make you more afraid of death."

It was Cho's turn to be silent.

"Besides. You don't want to go losing your life for someone such as myself. If you're gonna die, then die fighting for whatever it is you believe in. Not saving someone's ass because they're too much of a coward to face their problems."

She sighed through pursed lips. "...what do you want me to say to that, Theo?"

Theodore shrugged. "You usually have an answer to whatever I say."

"I--" Cho cut herself off and shook her head. After a long silence, she mumbled, "I don't think you're a coward."

"What's your basis of comparison?"

She drew her knees in towards her chest, as she had so many times before. She spoke towards the ground. "... I don't have one. It's just ... a feeling."

He followed her gaze. "Those seem to mean a lot to you. Your feelings."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore." Cho appeared to be debating whether or not she wanted to leave.

But it was Theodore who made the choice, as he stood and warmed his hands with a breath just as cold. "...don't frown, Cho. It doesn't do you any justice." He hesitated a moment, then held his hand out to her. "...c'mon. It's late. We'll get in trouble."

She closed her eyes and inhaled, then opened them and, releasing the breath, she took his hand and lifted herself from the ground. "Let's go."

The walk back to the castle was quiescent.


	5. 4

Dead Ends and Burning Bushes

Hey everyone! It's certainly been a while, and I'm sorry for falling off the face of the earth there. College has been eating my life, and with plans to move out later this summer quickly coming into fruition, I'm afraid I don't know when I'll next be able to update. Thank you to those who have stuck around and waited, welcome to the new comers, and a hearty hello to everybody else. On to the fic!

Disclaimer: See first chapter.

* * *

Many months had gone by since Cho and Theodore had first become friends. They hadn't spoken much over the summer holiday, but now that school was in session again, Cho felt even more anxious to make sense of everything that had happened over the past year, and more importantly, everything that had happened to Theodore.

To say she cared about him was an understatement. To say she loved him would be an exaggeration. She didn't even know what it was. But this was her last year, and moreover, her last chance to make him happy, and as she watched the world speed by outside of the Express, she kept herself occupied by picking at the dirt underneath her fingernails. Every so often she would catch part of her nail and find herself with a lovely, sharp, hangnail.

"Goddamnit," she mumbled; this time she had pulled the hangnail off a bit too hard and now the side of her finger was bleeding. This had started happening every so often as well, and despite her mother's protests about how "a proper young woman doesn't rip off her fingernails when she gets bored," Cho continued to busy herself with her newfound habit. At least it kept her mind off of Theodore.

"This is all so ridiculous, anyway," she thought out loud. A couple first-years walking past outside stared at her. She didn't notice.

Deciding to give her fingernails a short break, she reached into her over-the-shoulder and pulled out a thick book. She opened to the dog-eared page, crossed one leg over the other, and started reading.

"…finally, one that's open."

Cho looked up at the sound of someone else's voice with a quirked eyebrow.

A moment later, the door to her compartment opened and in walked probably the last person she wanted to see at the moment.

"…oh." Theodore turned to exit.

Cho sighed. "Sit down."

Theodore sat down awkwardly, his long legs stretched out as much as the compartment would allow. "…these things really aren't friendly to tall people."

"No, I guess not." She paused. "How was your holiday?"

Theodore didn't answer.

"…right. Wrong question."

"Yeah." He looked over at her, then closed the sliding door and brushed his black bangs out of his eyes. "Cho, listen, I need to talk to you."

Noting the tension in his voice, she dog-eared the page she was on and set it aside, devoting her full attention to him. "What is it?"

"I might not see you again. Ever."

"Pardon?"

"I've been telling you this from the start. Don't look so surprised… Please." He cast a series of anti-eavesdropping and sound-concealing spells around them, as many as he could think of, and sat there, fidgeting. "That thing I told you I didn't want to do. I've been running but it's caught up to me."

"…shut up," Cho said instantly. "Shut up."

He looked up at her, not sure what to do or how to say something for which he had no words.

And now Cho was faced with the things from which she too had been running, the things that kept sleep at a far bay. The things she didn't know if she could say. "I'm not losing you to that pathetic piece of shit."

"I don't have a choice, Cho—"

"_Shut up_!" She nearly shrieked, standing now, her hands shaking. "Don't give me that! Don't give me that nonsense, Theo!"

He had no idea what was going on, but he stopped halfway through starting to stand and sat back down. "Cho—"

"I said I don't want to—"

"Will you _listen_ to me?!" He broke in, breathing hard with anxiety. "I'm doing this so I can keep you safe! If I didn't care about you I wouldn't have risked my ass just to get on this God forsaken train so I could tell you not to try and save me so that _you_, Cho, could go on and live the life you're supposed to live! Don't you get it? I want—I want—" he sucked in air, as though too afraid of what might happen to go on.

Cho, who had long since gone pale, looked at him sharply. "Want _what_?! To say that you bullshitted me for an entire year like this?!"

At long length, Theodore inhaled and looked away from Cho, stung. "I want… to protect you. To keep you safe. To do the only thing in my power to keep the Dark Lord _away_ from you for as long as I can! This is all I'm able to do for you, Cho; will you just let me do it?"

Caught between fear, sadness, and anger, Cho felt her legs lose their strength. She fell back down on to the seat and pinched tightly the bridge of her nose. Whatever this all was, it was happening too fast.

There was a pause so long it hurt.

"Cho… I'm sorry. Please look at me."

She didn't look up.

"Come on, don't… don't do this. Look up at me."

"Get out of here." Cho said quietly.

Theodore hesitated, sitting back up straight.

"I said get out! If you're so eager to go 'protect me' then go right ahead and get on with it! Don't let _me_ stop you or anything! Go!"

"I know you don't mean that." He knew he was testing his limits with her, but he found himself unable to stop. "Just… talk to me. Tell me what you want to say but don't tell me to get out again. I'm not going to leave you alone."

She glared up at him through eyes she was trying to keep dry. "Liar."

He looked down.

"It's not enough, is it? To lose one person you—" she paused. "—care about to that monster? Do I have to lose two in order to—I don't know—gain all the knowledge of the universe or something? Is this some kind of prank that life is playing on me? Does someone up there get a giant fucking laugh out of it every time I start to care about someone, and they take them away from me, either through getting _murdered_ or through becoming the murderer's _lackey_?!"

"You know my heart isn't in this mess, Cho, don't—"

"Don't what? Don't care what happens to you? _About_ you? Don't what, Theodore? Tell me, I'd really like to know!"

"_Stop_." And this time it sounded like an order, the first he had ever given her.

She stood, and hesitated before she stormed over to the door. "…no, Theodore. _You_ stop. Don't tell me you want to protect me. Not like this. Go ahead and be just like your father, the one you told me you hate so much. Just…" she knew deep down that she was hurting herself just as much as him by saying all of this. "just don't expect me to catch you anymore."

And with that, she roughly picked up her bag and slammed the door shut on her way out. Before she could look back, she bumped into Roger Davies in the hallway. With one glance at the severe expression on her face, he silently put his arm around her shaking shoulders and ushered her into his and Terry Boot's compartment, looking more concerned than he had ever been in his lifetime.

Theodore remained in the empty compartment. He gripped his skull tightly with his fingers, and screamed.


	6. 5

Dead Ends and Burning Bushes

Whoooo…! Sorry this took so incredibly long. I've lived in a different country and moved twice since I last updated, but I have not abandoned this story! Lol. Here's a longer chapter to make up for it. In this chapter we meet two of Cho's best friends: Roger Davies and Terry Boot. Roger isn't a jerk, he really isn't; he's just… a very… um… outspoken… individual.

There is some language in this chapter, as should be expected from the rating. See first chapter for disclaimers. Thanks!

--

"Merlin's beard, Cho, what happened?" Roger said, locking the compartment door. "The hell did that guy say to you?"

Terry bent his head from where he was sitting next to Cho. Her long hair was covering her face. "Cho…?"

"I don't wanna talk about it," she said. "I don't wanna talk about _him_."

Roger looked displeased. "I'm gonna beat the shit out of him, Chang. I don't know what he said to you, or who he is, but _nobody_ hurts my Seeker."

"Go right ahead! I don't care what happens to him anymore!" She shouted, catching Terry off guard. He reached into his pocket and handed her a handkerchief.

The Ravenclaw Captain frowned at Cho. This wasn't like her. But, nevermind – that fucking kid was going to be in the infirmary for the next week. Cho was important to him, and whatever that bloody Slytherin had said to her had obviously upset her. "Which compartment were you in, Cho?"

Cho was silent for a long time. "…don't."

"Is this the one you told me about before?" Terry asked.

Roger raised his eyebrow.

"The one who spent all of last year telling me how much his life is an angst fest?" She blurted out, then paused. "…I didn't mean it to come out that way."

"We know," Terry said. "You don't have to censor yourself around us…"

"He deserves it," Roger snapped. "Go ahead and say whatever you want, Chang."

Cho stared blankly in front of her for a long time, her small frame shaking back and forth every time the train took a turn. Terry sat beside her, his arm loosely around her shoulders, not speaking.

"Fucking Slytherins." Roger threw himself down onto the bench across from Terry and Cho, and stretched his legs out across the length of the compartment. "You just can't trust them."

She looked up at him for a moment before pushing his feet off of the bench and turning to her side so that she could put her feet up. She covered both eyes with her hands and continued to breathe. "I don't know what to do."

"Cho, if you don't mind telling us, what exactly was going on between you two?" Terry asked, looking down at her.

"I don't know," Cho said. "But I don't want to lose him."

Something in what Cho said made Roger narrow his eyes a bit. "He's just a Slytherin, Cho. You have me, and you have Terry, and Loony Whatserface, and that girl who I thought was your cousin at first, you know the one. You don't need anyone else. We're always there for you, he's just some worthless kid."

"No he isn't. Don't say that." She sat back up and picked at the hem of her cloak. "I know you're trying to help, Roger, and I appreciate it, but please don't say it like that."

Roger sighed. "Just don't destroy yourself again, Cho. Please. Just promise me that, okay? I don't want to see you fall apart all over again."

Terry looked between the two of them, then squeezed her shoulders and brought his arm back to his side. "No one does."

Ten minutes, and then twenty, passed in silence as the three sat in the compartment, not even looking at each other. Finally, Cho spoke. "He said he wants to protect me. So that I can live the life I'm meant to live and all that romantic crap."

"And that's a problem…how?" Roger blinked.

Cho flicked her wand towards the door and cast the very strongest anti-eavesdropping spells, and told them everything. When she was finished, Roger had gone red in the face with anger and he looked downright murderous.

"Why didn't you tell us about this sooner, Chang?" he asked, and Terry and Cho recoiled from the hatred in his voice.

Cho didn't answer.

"Lousy, no-good, piece of _shit fucking Slytherin_!" He shouted, rising to his feet. "How could you trust somebody like that, Cho? Goddamnit, you're in Ravenclaw, not—not—not fucking—" he almost said 'Hufflepuff,' but caught himself just in time. "You're not a Muggle! You know better than to get involved with people like that!"

He punched the wall of the compartment. "You know they're good for nothing but fucking up other people's lives! Is that Malfoy kid and his problem with Potter not enough of an example for you?!"

"Roger," Terry broke in quietly, "that's enough."

"No! No, Terry, it's not enough. Cho, I don't—I don't know what the fuck you were thinking, or were you even thinking at all? _Fucking_ Slytherins, just a bunch of back-stabbing _bastards_, the whole lot of them should be sent away for good! Just—get rid of them all!"

"Roger, that's enough!" Terry repeated. "You've made your point. Sit down."

But Roger continued screaming, and even though Terry didn't doubt the strength of Cho's soundproofing spells, he looked around embarrassedly.

Finally, Cho stood up and cut off Roger's tirade. "YOU'RE NO BETTER THAN THEY ARE!" She looked at Roger through blurry vision; she was so angry and hurt by him right now that her body didn't seem to know how to react. "You—you fucking bigot! You're no better than the Slytherins who think you and I are blood-traitors!"

"DON'T COMPARE ME TO THEM, CHANG!" Roger seethed. He knew she was right, but— "You don't see me murdering anyone! And don't tell me you don't think it too—don't tell me you've never thought we'd all be better off without them! Don't tell me you've never hated them!"

Terry tried to get Cho to sit down again, but she ripped her arm out of his grip and fumed. Roger was right; she'd had those thoughts more times than she would have liked to admit, but that didn't make them right—"That doesn't—YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT, ROGER!"

"THEN WHY DON'T YOU JOIN THEM, CHO?" Roger regretted the words as soon as he said them, but he was too angry to stop. "Why don't you just switch over to fucking Slytherin and get that fucking Mark tattooed on to your arm and fucking marry them all since so you're so intent on _defending_ them! Fuck all of Ravenclaw, right?! Not like we've ever fucking done anything for you! Just go ahead and fucking betray all of us; go ahead and step all over me, and all over everyone else who's ever been there for you! GO AHEAD, CHANG! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?" He hated Cho in that moment; hated her for not telling him about Theodore sooner, hated her for even talking to the damn boy, hated her for abandoning Ravenclaw, for abandoning her friends, for abandoning _him_, all for some Slytherin, when she'd always been his everything.

Cho fell back into her seat, unable to respond.

Terry stared at Roger with his mouth hanging open. Almost everybody in Ravenclaw had seen Cho and Roger go at it, but it had never gone this far before. "R-Roger, you… you need to go. Just go." Terry said quietly. Roger looked at Terry as though he was about to hit him; Terry remained defiant and Roger pushed past him and Cho, tore the door open, walked out, and slammed it shut. They didn't see where he went after that.

"Don't listen to him, Cho—" Terry said, moving away from Cho's side to sit across from her. "Cho, look at me." When she didn't reply, he leaned forward and took her chin in his hand, lifting her head. "Look at me, Cho. I don't… particularly… agree with what you're doing, but… it's your life, not mine. You supported me when I needed it, so… I'll support you, okay? Okay, Cho?"

Cho turned her head and broke the contact with Terry. Roger had been her first friend at Hogwarts. He'd been her first crush, her first kiss, her Quidditch mentor, her best friend, the one to keep her standing up when she hadn't been able to support herself. And they'd fought before. Oh, had they fought before. She and Roger fought and argued over anything and everything, but he'd never hurt her like this. She felt completely numb. She felt like she did when Voldemort murdered Cedric.

Terry sighed and returned to sit next to Cho. He put his arm around her; she buried her face in his chest and he pretended not to hear the cracked sobs that escaped past her lips.

* * *

Roger paced up and down the length of the train car many times; he wanted to take out his broom and fly the rest of the way to Hogwarts; he wanted to jump off the train and run until his legs gave out from under him. He stormed around like a giant angry thundercloud until he finally felt more calm. He leaned into the windowsill and stared outside as the sights passed by. He bit his thumb nail and spit out the piece he tore off. He pulled his hand through his hair a few times, and exhaled.

It was an open secret in Ravenclaw that Roger had always wanted to date Cho, and if Cedric hadn't beaten him to asking her to the Yule Ball that year, well, things may have turned out completely different. Roger had never quite been able to forgive himself for not screwing up the courage to ask her first. He had had to admit that Cedric was a very skilled Quidditch player, but even admitting that a Hufflepuff could be a challenge had stung him a bit. It wasn't that Roger disliked Hufflepuffs; they were a lot easier to get along with than the Slytherins—but he'd always not-so-secretly hated them—and not nearly as annoying as the Gryffindors. Even the Gryffindors, he supposed, weren't really that bad; he liked the Weasley twins, but it annoyed him that that House was always in the spotlight.

Now, Ravenclaw, sure… nobody paid attention to Ravenclaw, but they were by far the best… and, in Roger's opinion, there was no finer House to be in, no finer group of people to spend his time with, and sooner or later, Ravenclaw would have its moment to shine. Even Hufflepuff had had its moment, and Roger was rather miffed that Ravenclaw hadn't had its fifteen minutes of fame yet. He was determined to make sure it happened. His House wasn't worthless, damnit...

Roger inhaled and exhaled again. He still felt angry at Cho, but he knew he had to go apologize. He didn't really feel like admitting he was wrong, but—well, it was Cho. He felt like a jerk.

Roger pushed off the windowsil and began walking back to the compartment. By chance he glanced to the side and saw a tall, thin, black-haired boy hunched over in the compartment to his left; the person inside looked miserable. Roger pulled the door open and stood in the threshold, his arms folded.

"Are you Theodore Nott?" he asked of the stranger.

The boy looked up at Roger, and the Ravenclaw recoiled slightly at the boy's haunted expression. Roger narrowed his eyes despite it.

"Fuck you."

He closed the door in Theodore's face and continued on his way.

* * *

Cho was still crying quietly when Roger came back inside. The hot tears stung her face and she tried to sink down into the seat to hide from Roger.

The compartment was silent again, except for Cho's sniffles, until finally, Roger spoke again.

"I'm sorry, Cho. I didn't mean to yell at you or make you cry."

Cho dried her eyes and sat up straight. "The trolley might be coming by soon."

Roger and Terry exchanged glances. Terry sighed. It was so like Cho to completely change subjects when she didn't want to talk about something. He knew that all too well. Roger threw his hands up in the air, let them come back down to hit his thighs, and mulled over his thoughts.

Terry continued to hold on to Cho. He cared for her, a lot, but in a very different way from Roger. He and Cho had tried dating very briefly in the fall of her sixth year, before she met Theodore, but that hadn't lasted very long—it soon came out that Terry was gay, and even though it had kind of stung her at first, Cho had helped him come to terms with his new realization and learn to accept himself. For that friendship and support, he loved her.

"Roger?" Terry prodded Roger with his foot. "Hey, Davies."

Roger snapped out of it. "What?"

"We should be at the school soon… Might want to change into your robes," Terry suggested. He and Cho were already donning their Ravenclaw robes.

"When did you–?"

Cho shrugged. "When you were gone."

Roger exhaled. "I said I'm sorry, Cho."

She shrugged again.

Roger looked at her with frustration. "Cho, I'm sorry. I don't think you should go join them. I don't want you to. I want you to stay with us in Ravenclaw." He paused, then looked over at Terry. "Give me a minute?"

Terry squeezed Cho's shoulders, then let go and stood up. "I'll be outside." He exited the compartment.

--

I know that in the books, Cho and Harry had their little thing instead of Cho and Terry, and then she went off with Michael Corner after he had his thing with Ginny. Please allow me to go against canon slightly. After all, this is fanfiction. ;) Michael may pop up later, may not, I really have no idea. As for Harry, he'll probably show up at some point, but as with Michael, I don't know for certain when that will happen. I let my stories go where they want...mostly! Lol. See you guys next time!


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